The Plumbing Tree
 Adult Crawls
 Parrots of Erotic Island
 The Hearing of Linda Taylor
 Inside His Hat is a Host
 Revenge Poem
 Cloak of Earthly Objects
 Shy World
 We Are Lesion
 Im A Ballad

       Adult Crawls (Recalcitrant Bodies Text, 2017)
       The Ho'full Subject (Audio & Essay 2016)
       Style as a Theater of Resistance (2016)

May 2016, Written for Jared Brown's USB publication, Myth 101, photos taken by Logan White

Style as a Theater of Resistance

Style is a daily activity of resistance, an awakening of the spirit alive in clothes. I was recently introduced to the writing of Antonin Artaud, my friend Bryan and I read the prologue of The Theater and Its Double while working on our play. Artaud explains that the universal collapse of life at the root of our present day demoralization- the production of a culture made to tyrannize life- deprives cultural ideas of their real magic and living power. His ideas have completed my own thoughts on style as a defiant medium with magical potential, prompting a living theater that does not discern itself from the culture it sustains.

To shatter language in order to contact life means creating or recreating theatre. The crucial thing is not to believe this action must remain sacred, that is to say, set apart. And the main thing is to believe not that anyone can do it but that one needs to prepare for it. (from Artaud's The Theater and Its Double)

Getting dressed is the preparation for a living theater; an active mind that destroys the subcultures offered to her in exchange for a shadow language, the unspoken power alive in things. I use fashion as a topical and immediate exploration of ideas, a material study of the theater I am creating. Style is the starting point for the creation of a visual language- the looks correlate with whatever art or conceptual project I'm working on. Beyond clothes it is a fashioning of the self in real time, a declaration of the possible. It is like writing a thesis (for me the best part of writing)- I can present the poetic and affective relationships between ideas, however, I do not have to build up and defend these ideas, the relationships are free to grow in whatever mutable form they take. In this process, style becomes a perfect combination of premeditation and totalin- the-moment improvisation. Surfaces are tested on one another, humor prevails, and symbols and signs are constantly being rearranged, deconstructed, and altered onto my body. A soul emerges, traversing the violence of culture with the sincere search for the self.

In addressing style, I must also note its violent qualities. When used as a ratification into culture, style is oppressive, a suffocation of the material power in clothes. The market removes the openness of clothing's affective body and solidifies it to a specific feeling and possible expression. The consumer is turned into a fetish, maintaining their visibility to culture and capital through their consumption. In this way, style becomes a reification of the market and it's available desires. It is a profiling tool, used to separate and parse the body from its potential. I like to imagine a style that's main focus is to confuse the profiler and the value it places on the visible subject. Like a guerilla style that scams an ideology of looking and being. Clothing is my address to capital, a capital that has been profiting off my body through its control of base desire. This relationship serves as a canvas for style as a theater of resistance.

Dressing the Revenge Poem

I have to make an outfit for my performance, Revenge Poem, an epic poem that serves as an oppositional force to revenge porn and online misogyny. The dress needs to both separate me and bind me to the text. Unlike in past performance work, the female character/speaker in the Revenge Poem is less discernable from myself. In a way she is me, but an imagined version of her. The woman reciting the poem is an artist, she is invoking the text, but she is not the subject of it. The real subject of the Revenge Poem is an idea for a way of being- she is the female who can escape the patriarchal inscription of her own form. Underneath this conceptual proposal is something more honest- the project is my own search for how to be a female artist. It is my self indoctrination into femininity and the note of feminism I crave. This feminism, like a note of a smell, has a particularity to it. It is a perverted feminism, one that is searching for a humanity outside of sexual morals and current economic and political structures. It is also a magical feminism, a pure-feeling space that I share with other women- an energy that circulates from my core, like a really good joke. This magic has something to do with defiance and humor, and a pursuit for a formlessness that has a shattering capacity- could eventually take down the productive engine of man-kind in its wake.

On Avant

When someone first said “avant” to me I cringed, it felt like a smarter way to say artsy. The avant-garde is a hallmark of modernism, when vanguardism in the arts was the fastest way to social, political, and economic reform. In post-modernity the avant-garde has been embraced for its complicity with progress, avant-garde has become an art institution in itself, neutralizing the rebellious nature of the individual works. Art can not be labeled as avant-garde because it immediately suffocates the work by evaluating its defiant potential. Despite this, I have learned to appreciate “avant”, possibly for its anachronistic succinctness that summons up feelings and desires for a renegade artist community. Each year since graduating from art school, the capacity I have for love for my friends and their artwork has grown. The institution brought us together, but it didn't need us to support one another, or to fight for our art. The institution made being an artist convenient. Now that we are out of school, it is rather inconvenient to make art, it's contradictory and expensive, we are all fighting for our work and trying to find the perfect scam to allow us to make it full time. Watching my friends decide to be artists, is what makes me fall in love with them. I love sharing the details of our scam, the way its maturing and mythologizing each of us as artists. It is a term used to talk about a pursuit, a collective search for the contemporary punk, the contemporary badass moment that shows us that art is still possible. To be an avant-garde of a certain time is not to be the genius, but to be the haruspex, the witchy spirit that inspects the carcass of culture and shows us there is still work to be done.